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Sunday, January 1st, 2012
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6:56 pm - Networking. In the FUTURE!
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[April 16, 2008, 6.56pm:] Taking a piece of advice from ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) reannaremick (see below), I'm going to future-date this entry (which is going to take some getting used to), and keep adding to it, as new information comes in.
Here we go:
( User Friendly )
current mood: Working on other things.
current music: Television and other things.
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(37 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, December 10th, 2009
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2:12 am - Credit Recap. Wintermass
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Let's Review: I've never had a credit card. Never needed one, so I never bothered.
I have two student loan accounts, with the US Federal Government, both deferred, in good standing.
I have never defaulted on a loan.
I have never been excessively late on a bill.
Almost exactly one year ago, I attempted to rent a car, and I was denied, due to a problem of some indeterminate nature, on my credit report. I obtained an Equifax report, and found Nothing out of the ordinary. Loans, deferrment, etc, that's IT. But, fine, whatever; the shit is what it is.
This year, so that we might rent a car to make the trek to the frozen north, for Wintermass, I decide that I will obtain a credit card, so that I can more easily rent said car. Except not. Declined for a card, told to check my credit report and see what's what.
So. I checked with AnnualCreditReport.com, a genuinely free service offering checks of three separate credit collators (Experian, Equifax, and one other one I can't remember), and I find... Nothing. Two reports full of nothing out of the ordinary, except a mistaken address, and phone number, which I corrected. No flags, no potential problems; just loans, in good standing. But no Credit Score, either.
So I go to FreeCreditReport.com, which is Not, in fact Genuinely Free, as they require a credit card, and if I don't cancel my "Membership," in nine days (NOTE TO SELF), they start charging me $14.95 a month. Anyway. Nothing Out Of The Ordinary. Oh, and they can't generate a score because I don't have enough of a credit history to do so.
Now, I know what you're thinking: "There's your answer, Fish-Bulb. You can't rent a car, because your credit history is too small." Except I've rented a car before. Three times. In my own fucking name, AND co-signed with others. PLUS, this wouldn't explain, at all, why I couldn't get a fucking Credit Card.
WHAT THE FUCK.
Wintermass is never easy. The walls of reality are thin, and so is patience. I asked for 65F degree temperatures, last night, and we got them, today, out of nowhere, through heavy storms that kept me up most of the night, reducing my projected 5.5 hours of sleep to approximately Four. My own fault, really, and I accept that. But when I ask for the ease of transport up north and the monetary security to make it happen, where the fuck is that? Where, I ask you, is that?
I would like several hundred thousand dollars, US (let's call it $455,698.86), through legal means, without anyone having to die, allocated to me, for my work and my general use, and I would like to have that by tomorrow.
Thank you.
current mood: confused and pissed
current music: "Rock In This Pocket (Song of David)" by Suzanne Vega, stuck in my head
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(8 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, December 9th, 2009
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11:56 pm - Odin says THE STARS ARE RIGHT!
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| Tuesday, December 8th, 2009
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11:51 pm - Neil Gaiman, Steward of Stories
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3:30 pm - Wave invites.
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I have let's call it five more Google Wave invites.
Hands up. First come, first serve.
current mood: Here.
current music: TV
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, December 3rd, 2009
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12:54 am - State of the Damien
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Been sick the past few days. Almost completely better.
All copies of my piece for The Immanence of Myth seem to have been corrupted beyond saving. Have tried saving a zip file and extracting the pertinent files on both the Linux and Windows machines; have tried searching for the .bak files; have tried saving as a Word file. Nothing. Don't have much time, left. May have to do... something else.
Tired, now. Night.
current mood: very tired. Frustrated
current music: Colbert
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, November 30th, 2009
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12:34 pm - Buying Things Today:
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So. It seems that the term for today is "Cyber Monday." I think that, rather than slapping the hell out of everyone who uses that phrase, at me, it would be vastly more productive for me to point you at places where your money might be better spent.
So, first up unknownbinaries is available for commissions, has finished pieces available for sale, & has compiled a list of creative types, which can be found here: http://unknownbinaries.livejournal.com/1003495.html
Next we have that old saw of mine: http://wolven.livejournal.com/1411771.html
And, finally, there is the anthology Women's Voices in Magic, in which unknownbinaries has an essay. You should check it out, after you buy some of her art.
Thosee lists are pretty comprehensive, I think, but if you think I've forgotten anyone, feel free to say so, here, and to make your own list.
Have a good day.
current mood: indeterminate.
current music: CNN
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, November 26th, 2009
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11:57 pm - The Lady Gaga Conundrum
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Having finally watched a Lady Gaga video, I can say, with some certainty, that I could never listen to her music without the videos, but the videos definitely make the music work. The subtleties of hand positioning, stance, and body motion really, really intrigue me.
I cannot yet say whether I like this, but it Certainly isn't boring. See for yourself:
Direct Link
current mood: pondering
current music: people talking...
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9:40 pm - I know I'm Biased, but...
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12:33 pm - Giving you my thanks.
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I am thankful and grateful and appreciative of all of you.
Thank you for being here.
Happy Thursday.
current mood: thankful, if sinusy.
current music: How I Met Your Mother
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, November 25th, 2009
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11:29 am - Waving
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I have two Google Wave invitations. First come, first served.
Back later.
current mood: giving
current music: me leaving.
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(17 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, November 22nd, 2009
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11:55 pm - The Prisoner
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First, thanks to kittenspeaks for giving me the impetus to finally get this down. Second, If you haven't watched all of AMC's The Prisoner, and want to, you probably shouldn't read any further.
I want to say, at the outset, that I think that The Prisoner is a wonderful tool for Magicians. The concepts of identity, shared reality, dream space everting into said reality are masterfully covered, and interestingly explored, from the perspective of weaponised psychology. But that isn't all it's about. There is also a direct political commentary, there, as well as in-depth ideological investigation.
We spoke previously about Number 93 Dying/Escaping the Village, in the first twenty minutes of the series. If he has died, then the death of the current is paramount to survival. If he has escaped, then his is the only way. By the end of the series, we can infer that both of these things have happened. 93 is both dead in and escaped from the construct of the Village.
You see, as unknownbinaries and I figured it, the Village is a group-working experiement in creating a consensus reality. From what we learn, in the end, I believe that the people who were being surveiled by Michael/6 were then approached and contacted by 2. 2 learned about them, gained information about them, and used Michael's constant surveillance of their lives to learn more and more about them, thus being able to link them into the Village. These minds revolve around and feed into the Hub: 2's Wife, The Primary Dreamer. She uses their expectations to create the Village, and when she wakes into the world, it begins to unravel. The world needs a dreamer, to exist.
More than this, I found myself struck by the mechanisms of the shared dream of the Village. In the final two episodes, we see 2's ability to shed the weight and gravity of being Two, by making himself Un-Two. He sets up a distinction between 2 and Un-2, and controls the expectations of all of those who may encounter them, such that he can slip from under the weight of his number. The nature of the consensus reality means that each person's expectations of everyone else's behaviour and their inner natures directly and literally affects who and what they are. The weight of being 2 must be cast off, in order to be anything other than 2, but he retains his understanding of mental connection and the mechanisms of perceptual control, which he subsequently combines with the knowledge of Everything and Everyone in the Village, to A) become completely unknown/invisible, even by those Villagers who know him best, and B) basically Create Cigarettes, in a curio shop. In this, 2 embodies the creation and destruction of the identity of the magician.
In addition to this, we have the schism of 6's identity into 6 and 2x6, coupled with the fact that 2x6 was The Literal Product Of 2's Actions On 6. And when 2 seeks to make 2x6 the dominant half, he gives him a speech about embracing the Other, the Shadow Self, and becoming the Great Beast that the world thinks you are. Tehre are two levels to this statement. One is the direct allusion to Aleister Crowley's claim of being The Great Beast, 666, etc. The other is political.
While the ability to literally de- and reconstruct shared features of identity through interaction is prevalent in both the new and old versions of The Prisoner, the allegory of the shimmering towers in the distance being the ideal by which we save ourselves (93 says that to be free, 6 must "Follow The Towers," out into the desert) is the foregrounding of the new context in which this show was grown. There are Two, shimmering, mirage-like Towers, in the MIDDLE OF THE DESERT, and the recognition of their True Meaning is the Key To Our Salvation, As Individuls; The Key To Our Escape From A "Safety"-obsessed Surveillance State. But the perversion of what's in these towers is the very thing which traps and confuses us, which keeps us under state control, "For Our Own Good." Could this be more clear?
The final fate of Michael, as he becomes 2, for the good of those he loves-- Someone must dream; someone must lead-- is that the weight and gravity of the shared Village conception of what it Is To Be Two, of Essential Two-ness finally pulls him in, overtaking him. Having taken the role of his own free will, sitting in the chair, he allows himself into the literal seat of utmost control, and into the position of the one most easily controlled.
Sad. Depressing. Almost inevitable.
Thoughts?
current mood: Finally.
current music: random shit...
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, November 21st, 2009
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3:27 pm - Values
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From a conversation I'm having, on Google Wave, a question arises: What is the best strategy for getting people to see and understand worth, where they have seen no worth, before?
My values are not your values, and they may never be. I am fine with this, on a particular level, but I want you to understand the worth of my values to me, to See Them As Valuable, or, more pertinently, to see and accept why they may be valuable to me. How do you see this as best done?
What sways your thinking and feeling?
I can make an impassioned argument, I can make my logic sound and valid, and I can appeal to your emotions, but, in the end, if you're disinclined to hear me, you will shut me out, until I approach you on the terms which make sense to You.
Now, I'm flexible. My beliefs are such that I can generally analogise them to fit most anything. Spooky, I know, but I'm just that awesome. The question is, then, how can another go about seeing the world from enough of your perspective, to get you to see it fromm theirs?
This is where you Respond.
current mood: working...
current music: background...
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(17 comments | comment on this)
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10:51 am - Dreams of a Younger Self
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Lisa Loeb - [Stay]--- When I was very young, I dreamed of never leaving Washington, DC. I dreamed of going to Georgetown University, because the name was the same as my elementary school, and that just seemed logical, to me.
When I was young, I dreamed of owning a restaurant. (LUXT - [Knock You Down]). A mainly Italian restaurant, because that was my favourite type of food, and I knew how to cook many Italian dishes.
When I was in my pre-/adolescence, I dreamed of owning a combination Comic/Book/Coffee Shop. I would be able to combine the things I loved and provide an atmosphere for people to enjoy. The only trick would be keeping people from spilling their drinks on the merchandise, before they bought it.
When I was in my adolescence, I dreamed of being a comic book artist. I enjoyed comics, and I had what I considered to be a not-inconsiderable amount of talent. I wanted to draw, to create art, and have millions of people enjoy it.
Billie Holiday - [Don't Explain (dZihan & Kamien Remix)]--- When I was in a high school, I dreamed of being anywhere else. I wanted to be popular and loved, and to have genuine friends, and I simply... Did Things, while I waited to see if that would happen.
When I was in my high school, I dreamed of being a person whose thoughts could change the world. I began studying magic, philosophy, psychology, and I started teaching.
When I was in college, I dreamed of figuring out whatever the hell college was supposed to be for, and using that to my full advantage. I found the deeper aspects of philosophy, and wanted more.
When I was in graduate school, I dreamed of Teaching, of passing along serious and valuable lessons about the way of the world. I wanted to show people that, even in the most seemingly-mundane subjects, there are lessons of value and worth.
Cole Porter & Robbie Williams - [It's De-Lovely]--- On leaving graduate school, I dreamed of finding a job that would let me use the vast and wonderful skill set I had acquired. I wanted to teach, and write, and research, and make money at the things I loved.
Tom Waits - [Walk Away]--- My dreams fluctuate. I want new and different things, but my goal is to create a world in which the things I love and about which I care are widely known, and appreciated. Not simply because I love them, but because I find them of Worth. Thoughts, the ability and willingness to think new things, to try new things, and to open oneself up to the functioning of the world, and to become a part of it.
ยต-Ziq - [Mentim]--- I dream of the academic community accepting magical theory and the kidnds of connections and correspondences made, therein, as valid, useful tools. I dream of teaching people the components of various magical practices, and watching them put it all together. I dream of working with other magicians and not having it turn into Wand-Measuring contests over whose theory and practise is "right." (The Black Heart Procession - [When We Reach the Hill]). I dream of people using the different perspectives and lenses afforded to them through magic, for the purposes of solving their problems, honestly and openly.
I dream of people being prepared for the assholes who use those same perspectives, lenses, and tools, to attain power and "security."
I dream of living a financially comfortable life, so that I can live a mentally uncomfortable one.
Warren Zevon - [Bed of Coals]--- Given the choice of being able to do anything at all, I would chose to do everything that came to mind. Teaching, Consulting, speaking, writing, cooking, drawing, running a coffee/book/comic shop and Italian restaurant. My dreams are vast ones of connection and interaction and mutual learning and growth. (Electric Hellfire Club - [The Electric Hellfire Acid Test]). Getting the so-called legitimacy of a PhD is one way to obtain one component of this swirling fractal mass. Starting a consultancy is another, and I'm sure there are many others besides, but until something changes, in a drastic way, these are the semi-attainable ones, right now.
Moving on.
current mood: in my head.
current music: Android Lust - [Drown]
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12:30 am - Detonation Radio
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| Friday, November 20th, 2009
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10:47 am - What Has been, What Is, What Will Be.
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Today I will be productive. I will be creative. I will be astounding and amazing and fabulous, and the entire world will GASP to see it.
I will make more of this world than when I found it. I will take from this world so muchc more than it thinks it can bear to lose. I will spin and weave, sustain and encourage, and I will show my true face to the people I encounter.
I will make of this place everything that I can. I will treat myself as I would treat all others, and the converse is also true. By this path will people see in themselves the ability to see in themselves. And i will erase my footsteps.
And when I'm done, all onlookers will say, "There. That Man. Who Is He, That We May Follow Him?" But where they point will only be what I was.
What I am, here, and now, always more than what I have done. Always less than I can be. Today.
current mood: Ever-Present
current music: a steadily fluctuating hum
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(comment on this)
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1:48 am - Needs and wants.
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I need a new computer. My laptop and desktop are abominably slow, due to lower RAM than is industry standard. At least 75% lower, and that's only assuming a standard 1GB of RAM. In the case of the laptop, this means that trying to run more than one or two applications, Small applications, at a time, locks up the system in waves of competing protocols, for literal hours at a time. Yes. So. New computers.
I want a new car stereo. My CD player has ceased function, it has no tape deck, no auxilliary jack, I hate commercial radio, and NPR news isn't available 24/7. So, new car CD player.
I need a tune up and brake job, on my car. The Meineke place where I got my oil change quoted me ~$200, for the plugs and points job, plus whatever it cost for the front brakes. So, really, more like $350. As this car is the only car I'll have, for the foreseeable future, I should probably get this done, soon.
I want a paying job where I feel a sense of mutual respect between management, employees, and clients/customers, rather than lipservice paid to the idea of respect which is shown, time and again, to fail in actual practice. A place where the potential for and of interaction is nutured and feed, rather than patently ignored.
I need to get apply for and get into a fully funded Ph.D that I can stomach for the length of time it takes to turn it into something I can vaguely stand, and then get out. Apparently, I need the piece of paper, in order to even begin doing what I'm trying to do, or I need a great many more connections who are willing to help me, than are currently making themselves known.
I want powerful high-profile friends who are willing to put themselves on the line to support the things in which I believe. Sweeping educational reforms, new curriculum elements, political ethics, things like that.
I need to be a powerfully high-profile person, so that I can use my clout to support the things my friends care about.
I want more people to realise that, to paraphrse what Simon Peg said, a few days ago, celebrity is a consequence, and not an end.
I need to write, more.
A pure heart. A Peaceful Soul
"A bigger gun."
current mood: "I want to be the unwobbling pivot at the centre of an ever-revolving universe. I want to be Still."
current music: background noise.
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(25 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, November 19th, 2009
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11:10 am - Story: For unknownbinaries. "Increased Functionality"
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"I think it's broken."
"It is not broken."
"Really? Then turn it on."
"I thought it was on...?"
"Exactly my point."
"Wait, that makes no sense. If it's on, then how can it be broken?"
"That's not what I'm asking. What I'm asking is, 'If we can't tell, anymore, when it's on or off, doesn't that make it broken?'"
"Not necessarily, no. I mean... You sleep, don't you?"
"..."
"What?"
"..."
"WHAT?!"
"Did you hear what you just said? 'You sleep, don't you?' Is 'sleep' a part of the design parameters? Are we looking for to bridge the technoogical lack of REM State dreaming? This is not what it was designed to do!"
"...Okay, you need to back off of me, and calm down. It was a joke. I was trying to inject some obviously-much-needed levity into a tense situation. Sit down."
"...I'm sorry."
"It's okay. Here, hand me that chair. Thanks. Now look, all I'm saying is, there are situations happening here, but we don't know what they mean, yet. There are new numbers on these readouts, in combinations I've never seen, before, anywhere. Patterns are starting to emerge, but we have to be careful, and slow, and understand what we have, here. And we have to be willing to throw ourselves into this, headlong. You see what I mean?"
"Yeah... yeah, I think so, but.."
"'But' what?"
"What about our production deadline?"
"What about it? We've hit upon something astounding, here, man! This isn't about profitable reproduction anymore. It's about getting to know her."
"...What did you--? Wait.. what's that noise?"
"What noise?"
"That hissing, slithering noise, where is it coming from? Is one of the hoses loose, back there?"
"Oh shit... here hand me your coat. You check the connections, and I'll tell you what the readout says..."
"It's-- ow-- It's pretty cramped back here; did you change any hardware, here last night?"
"Hmm? No, not me. When was the last time you were-- Oh Shit!"
"What?! Tell me what's happening!"
"The main logic and output trunk... Get to it, quick!"
"All right, give me a second..."
"For gods' sakes, man, hurry!"
"Oh god...!"
"What do you see?"
"OH GOD!"
"What Do You See?"
"..."
"It's okay. I'll know, soon. I'll just lock up, then..."
current mood: creative
current music: Tomahawk - [101 North]
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, November 17th, 2009
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1:09 am - Principles
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When I start my consultancy, I Will:
Communicate with my employees and partners, keeping them abreast of the state of the company, as it pertains to their day to day operations.
Inform partners, employees, and clients of any operational changes, regarding services we offer, and the time frames in which we can reasonably and responsibly achieve them.
Allow for input and suggestions from partners and clients, keeping the company open to improvement, within the parameters of its goals and directions.
Make sure that, when the consultancy will not be following said recommendations, that explanations will be given, such that partners and clients are recognised as equal and respected members of the process.
Admit when I am wrong, in my planning, so that we may all figure out why a particular strategy didn't work out, and so that we can make ourselves more capable, all around, in the future.
Provide the time and training necessary to become accustom to new operations, tools, and procedures, prior to their public implementation.
More to come.
current mood: planning
current music: Heroes
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, November 16th, 2009
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12:02 am - Psychedelia
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The number of the first death in the new PRISONER is 93. Was this on purpose?
For those who don't know, the 93rd Current was the number associated with the powers of love and liberation, in Aleister Crowley's Thelema. The renewed interest in the Thelemic Magical System was responsible for a great deal of the nature and tone of 1960's Psychedelia. The notions of identity, freedom, and liberation formulated in the 1960's which went into creating the original Prisoner had a lot to do with Thelemic principles.
So, it's possible that Prisoner 93 being what he is, in this show, is an homage. Or it could be a coincidence.
Or, as moonandserpent says, a "Coincidence." One I think verges on hypersigilised synchronicity. If this is the case, then the death (or "death" or possibly Escape) of 93 in the new PRISONER series is the symbolisation of the need for the 93rd Current to Die, in order for us to come to the understanding of the desperate need to escape. By this shocking horror, by this continuing Hope, we are driven forward in our quest to know ourselves and be free.
Or it's just a TV show,
In other news, unknownbinaries' birthday party wet wonderfully. People came over, and drank and laughed, and stood about a fire and enjoyed the oldest form of modular entertainment. There was almost a butter-knife-fight, in the dining room, over whether Lamarckian or Darwinian Selection was the prevailing force in the evolution of species. There were boobies and Goldschlager, meat and wonderful conversation. A great time was had by All in attendance.
I didn't sleep for about 36 hours.
Last night, we watched Luc Besson's Angel-A. I was expecting something a lot darker than what we got, but what we got was wonderful, lighthearted, French, and a lot of fun. I highly recommend it.
Tired, now.
current mood: here
current music: The Prisoner
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tired